Perfect Marriage

In spite of my chattering on here day after day, I am hesitant to give advice about families and marriage relationships and rearing children. I have no confidence what we have done will work for anyone else because no one else has the secret ingredient in our family recipe: the perfect husband and father who has lived with our family since, well, since our family began.

He has never forgotten an anniversary or a birthday. He never complains about skimpy meals. He has never once told a mother-in-law joke, a ditzy blonde joke, a barefoot-in-the-kitchen-wife joke, or anything remotely suggestive because he believes they fall under wrong speech and wrong thinking for biblical men. He has always been respectful of the thoughts and opinions of myself and the children, his parents, my parents, his bosses, and even overwrought students, parents, co-workers, or others who “react” to decisions he has made or opinions he has voiced.  He has rarely asked forgiveness for being irritated, only because he has rarely been irritated. Whenever he has done something wrong, he clearly admits it, whether it be the children, me, or someone offended miles away for an institutional position or decision. In fact, he searches deep and wide to find something he should correct or do differently whenever he has been the  brunt of an accusation or an outburst.

He says thank you for every meal and intimacy. If he steps into the midst of a family conversation where something has gone wrong, his first response is, “What did I do?” even if the situation has nothing to do with him whatsoever! He always has his personal devotions. He remembers verses, truth, and principles even better than he remembers music, and he remembers a lot of music!

He speaks wisely when asked for advice, and has the most insightful ideas and direction for each of the children when they need it.

When we were young and in love, we would joke that we had to have the perfect marriage, because he was perfect and I was always right. Somehow, now that we are old and in love it still works, not because I’m always right, but because he is perfect and somehow he can make it seem like I am mostly right.

And did I mention he has never forgotten an anniversary or a birthday? Well, of course, many men (I trust) can say that. But he has never even forgotten the anniversary of our first date which, coincidentally, happens to be today. Forty-two years of talking about everything and nothing, enjoying fancy meals and simple snacks, fascinating places and just being home, working hard and sitting quietly, learning from history, literature, children and current events, leading family devotions before we ever had children, through the years they covered every inch of floor space and the arms of the sofas, to now, when once again, only two of us work on memorizing chapters of Scripture together.

He is the one who wanted our home to be a vibrant center of Bible learning, so his children would never know that most young adults, even those in “Christian” schools disparaged learning about the Lord and the fascinating world He had created and is now unwinding before our eyes. He has been the one who worked three and four low-paying jobs at a time so I could be a professional at-home, making hanging gardens of Babylon, designing cleaning plans and reading books out loud to the family. He has been the one insisting I write about “my house stuff,” doubtless never realizing that all we have done is nothing without a person like him to do it with.

“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.”

Thank you, David, for making it easy for the Lord to keep His eyes on our home since your perfect heart has always been here.