A Baby’s On the Way!

When is the best time to start preparing your child for apprentice training?

About 42 seconds after you realize a new baby is on the way!

This allows for a few seconds of delighted laughing and hugging before dedicating the new eternally destined human  back to the Lord for safe keeping, wise upbringing, noble character, and spiritual values. Acknowledging the Lord’s ownership of “your” child, and realizing your task is to fit him or her for the Lord’s purposes is the first step in apprentice training. Another question:

What is the most important item to acquire to be prepared for a new baby’s arrival?

• While a car seat to get baby home from the hospital is fairly important, that is not the right answer.
• A lifetime supply of disposable diapers is enviable, but not the right answer.
• A Restoration Hardware nursery is, admittedly, something for those of us who are not fond of primary colors and cartoon animals for decorating, but sadly, price-wise and value-wise, not the right answer.

The right answer is a Baby Box, a collection of tools and projects to work through before and after baby arrives. The Baby Box contents help new parents focus on the lifelong responsibility of nurturing a child, rather than getting completely swept up in the temporary task of acquiring all the “stuff” everyone needs before a new baby comes home. I know it seems hard to believe, but parents need to have prepared for the proper control and guidance mindset more than to have prepared a cute nursery. They need to have prepared orderly routines to accommodate a baby more than to have organized a closet full of baby clothes and diapers.

The Baby Box holds two things: books to read and projects to do.

Waiting for Baby Books to Read

My First 300 Babies by Gladys Hendrick While from the age when a mother’s helper moved in for the first weeks after a baby’s arrival, the objective control Gladys Hendrick used to order both baby and the rest of the family is a helpful guide for parents doing it on their own.

Complete Book of Baby and Child Care from Focus on the Family.

Preparation for Parenting and Babyhood Transitions by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, two books that are part of a larger series of materials available from Growing Families International

A small testimonial pamphlet we read when our first was very young, is available for viewing online at Under Loving Command.

And, of course, the primary source material for all these modern applications of biblical truth, the Bible itself.

These sources help us reorient our thinking toward God’s view of children and their development. They provide practical suggestions and teaching for those who know little about what to expect. They set the tone of loving command and consistent guidance that is essential for wise parenting.

Our current age is a minefield for tender babies. A baby can find itself in a home with morally perverted parents, angry parents, addicted parents, missing parents, abusive parents, insecure parents, biblically ignorant parents,  educationally stupid parents, financially promiscuous parents, reactionary parents, authoritarian parents, and permissive parents.

Some parents go overboard on “loving,” using giving-in and buying-for as substitutes for biblical love.

Some parents go overboard on “command,” ruling from on high with the imperiousness of a Caesar, rarely realizing the longer they avoid accountability for themselves, the more likely it is they will topple over the edge of biblical balance and fall into the slime of demanding those under them begin to do wrong.

Some think “little” means stupid since the baby doesn’t talk or move itself. Such parents squander the baby’s burning energy to learn, waiting too long before treating him or her seriously.

Some think “little” means toy and treat the eternal human like a doll, a football or a stuffed animal, designed for the adults’ pleasure and needs, rather than the baby’s need.

The truth is anyone who thinks even half-way accurately about a baby is terrified of doing wrong to the child God has sent them, knowing that same God is expecting active Biblical leadership from them for the little one.

When generous doses of direct Bible input are combined with accurate training and developmental information, some of unfamiliarity of babies can be put to rest, setting the stage for loving command, perceptive control, and developmentally-linked expanding permissions. That brings us to the projects:

Waiting for Baby Projects

1. Set a goal to read through the Bible out loud before the baby is born. Best if both parents can routinely take part in the reading. You can start as late as the sixth or seventh month if you give the project an hour a day! While you are reading, look for worthy life challenge texts. They may not be the life verse he or she lands on, but they will guide your prayer life, and give you a cause beyond diapering and feeding a baby to focus on.
2. Do your own personal Bible memorizing out loud.
3. Select several passages to memorize as a couple: Ephesians 1, I Corinthians 13, Psalms 139 might do for starting off.
4. Sing real hymns on a daily basis. At least read the texts of real hymns as poems. Select one a week and read/sing it several times a day, so baby gets to hear the same words repeatedly. This might mean buying a hymnal, which every home needs.
5. Begin family nights if they aren’t already a habit: play games together, do puzzles, read books, try new recipes together from a kid’s cookbook, toss balls in the backyard, go for walks, turn off the TV: anything that helps you practice things you will do with children. Think about how you will explain what you read to someone who is small, what they could do in the kitchen, how you can incorporate them into what you do now.
6. Talk to the baby while doing chores. Explain how to make a bed, and the importance of doing dishes. Name the foods you eat and comment on how delicious carrots and green bean are. I know you think I’m joking, but you never can tell!
7. Answer pointed questions about yourself honestly: How solid are your personal relationship activities with the Lord? How solid are your corporate worship practices? Do you display anger? Do you feel anger? What will you never do that your parents did? What areas do you indulge yourself in or make excuses for your behavior? What things are you absolutely going to do that your parents never did for you?
8. Write an article about what you think a godly parent is like. Write your ideas about what parents should or should not do.  Then let your pastor or godly older couple read your article and have them tell you how to achieve what you’ve written, where they sense you have unrealistic expectations or have missed the mark in your vision, and/or what personal weaknesses or faults you could address that will help you be more successful in this new responsibility.
9. Repeat to yourself forty times a day: Newborn crying is communication, not irritation. Then you will be ready to talk patiently, calmly and positively to your baby when he or she is “talking” to you.